so suprise suprise-she's on the prowl again.
it's really marissa's fault this time. she's got this new guy tom, he's a real doll and i'm seriously hoping this works out. not only does she deserve it but he does too. he's fun and a good influence...she'll be good for him too.
so tom's like yo i got this guy for kels and there we are at tom's house meeting john. now as much as i had wished this had been "a date", it was def "a hang out". i mean, we went and watched a movie. we had a little small talk and laughed during the movie, made fun if the russian accents and facial hair but nothing special.
but lord is he gourgeous. tall, built, faded mohawk, snazzy dresser, smart, lacrosse player.
although i could hear him breather through out the movie. and he'd like repeat the things he thought were funny.
but you have to take to minus' with the plus' right?
and he is definatly a plus.
it's one of those things like...we hardly even talked. i dont even know if there was chemistry. i mean, tom hugged me good bye john hardly made eye contact. so we get in the car and i'm like no maris he doesn't like me it's all good i mean he's hot but...then we get a text from tom saying john thought i was really cute and really nice and wants to hang out again! so i was freakin estatic. i was legit smiling so so big. so we're all going out to eat this week.
i'm so excited. i cant stop thinking about it. and him. it's one of those things like...there's nothing to even think about lol but you still are. just his face and his smile and his laugh. i'd really love to see something good come out of this.
sooo let's keep our fingers crossed!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
wow
So I literally cannot stop thinking about this guy! I just keep replaying our little...well really it wasn't anything huh? An exchange of smiles? I have done that quite a few times so why is this guy different?
Maybe because he's the one, maybe because he has some sort of magical hold on me. Or maybe I'm just trying to keep my mind off of another guy...
Well, let's just go with the magical powers for now huh?
Maybe because he's the one, maybe because he has some sort of magical hold on me. Or maybe I'm just trying to keep my mind off of another guy...
Well, let's just go with the magical powers for now huh?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
new guy?
So I'm in the library trying to study (did I study at all? suprisingly yes for about 10 minutes !) And Steve is there bothering me with his little friend and at this point Erica is gone being the responsible student she is turning into. So what else is there for me to do but scope out boys.
Now keep in mind, the library may not be the first place you would go looking for boys. Trust me, it never was for me either. But lately (and by lately I mean today) I've noiced quite potention in this house of books.
Of course you have your typical nerdy, geeky, obviously socially awkward guys who will more than likely avoid your glance at all costs because they've never seen boobs in real life. Only on their computer screens. Where they also play virtual dungeons and dragons. So then you have the kids who go to socialize A.K.A hoodlums. Now my problem is, these hoodlums intrigue me. Most of them are not very attractive and probably had some sort of illegal drugs on them. But for some reason, I find them endearing. Maybe it's because they are the rebellious kind of person I always wished I could be. The excitment I imagine in dating such a character. Lord knows.
Moving on to the real reason I brought this all up. So he walks in, I only recognize his presence when he is in view behind Steve's head. He is making his way towards the bathroom and we've made eye contact. And from what I can remember from those 5 long seconds, that is all we did. I don't believe our facial expressions changed in those instances. Now I'm sure your picturing this miraculous God who looks like he was literally dropped fromt he heavens. No no. He didn't have long flowing blonde hair, a rugged 5 o'clock shadow at 1 in the afternoon and beams of light were not shining all around him. He was about 6 foot with a hat on if I do recall and some sort of almost auburn colored beard. Not a mountain man beard but more stubble than a young high school teen attempting to grow more than s damn mex-y stash. And if I do recall he had slight gauges (normally this does not attract me but int his case they were modest enough to be respectable but also noticable...what would my father say !). He had on jeans and some sort of jacket but at this point those details were irrelevant. He finally came out of the bathroom and of course I was ready to give him my 100-watt hollywood smile. Do you really think that happened? Nope. It was more of a sheepish, probably including a blush kinda "I like your face" kind of smile. But hey, I got a smile back didn't I? Yes I did. Not to mention, Steve's little friend later informed me that when sitting at the computer desk not 10 feet away from me (he chose this position not long after our rendezvous), he looked me up and down! Alright, maybe not the romantic happy ending you were imagining. But that means he is at least interested in my body!
So then Steve and friend leave and I'm sitting there "studying" and hoping he will come over and say hi. But alas, no such luck. Then I came up with the idea to ask him if he had a highlighter. Of course I didn't ask though. But ok....so while he's not the on fire hot hot type, he's intimidating. he's one of those people who looks like he knows exactly who he is and who he wants. So maybe I'm not it. Maybe he was being polite to smile back, so what if he thinks I'm hot that does't mean he's interested. And there I go assuming he found me hot. Maybe he looked and didn't like what he saw....
But whats the use in thinking like that right? So when I left of course I had to look back and I caught his eye, held it for 2 seconds and turned around like I didn't want him to see me looking.
So of course, we have no school tomorrow so I have no chances of seeing him until next week. But I'm really hoping I will. And now with a new one in my eye, that's even more of a reason for me to work on setting my game up. I gotta throw away the sweatshirts, stretch pants and head bands.
Now keep in mind, the library may not be the first place you would go looking for boys. Trust me, it never was for me either. But lately (and by lately I mean today) I've noiced quite potention in this house of books.
Of course you have your typical nerdy, geeky, obviously socially awkward guys who will more than likely avoid your glance at all costs because they've never seen boobs in real life. Only on their computer screens. Where they also play virtual dungeons and dragons. So then you have the kids who go to socialize A.K.A hoodlums. Now my problem is, these hoodlums intrigue me. Most of them are not very attractive and probably had some sort of illegal drugs on them. But for some reason, I find them endearing. Maybe it's because they are the rebellious kind of person I always wished I could be. The excitment I imagine in dating such a character. Lord knows.
Moving on to the real reason I brought this all up. So he walks in, I only recognize his presence when he is in view behind Steve's head. He is making his way towards the bathroom and we've made eye contact. And from what I can remember from those 5 long seconds, that is all we did. I don't believe our facial expressions changed in those instances. Now I'm sure your picturing this miraculous God who looks like he was literally dropped fromt he heavens. No no. He didn't have long flowing blonde hair, a rugged 5 o'clock shadow at 1 in the afternoon and beams of light were not shining all around him. He was about 6 foot with a hat on if I do recall and some sort of almost auburn colored beard. Not a mountain man beard but more stubble than a young high school teen attempting to grow more than s damn mex-y stash. And if I do recall he had slight gauges (normally this does not attract me but int his case they were modest enough to be respectable but also noticable...what would my father say !). He had on jeans and some sort of jacket but at this point those details were irrelevant. He finally came out of the bathroom and of course I was ready to give him my 100-watt hollywood smile. Do you really think that happened? Nope. It was more of a sheepish, probably including a blush kinda "I like your face" kind of smile. But hey, I got a smile back didn't I? Yes I did. Not to mention, Steve's little friend later informed me that when sitting at the computer desk not 10 feet away from me (he chose this position not long after our rendezvous), he looked me up and down! Alright, maybe not the romantic happy ending you were imagining. But that means he is at least interested in my body!
So then Steve and friend leave and I'm sitting there "studying" and hoping he will come over and say hi. But alas, no such luck. Then I came up with the idea to ask him if he had a highlighter. Of course I didn't ask though. But ok....so while he's not the on fire hot hot type, he's intimidating. he's one of those people who looks like he knows exactly who he is and who he wants. So maybe I'm not it. Maybe he was being polite to smile back, so what if he thinks I'm hot that does't mean he's interested. And there I go assuming he found me hot. Maybe he looked and didn't like what he saw....
But whats the use in thinking like that right? So when I left of course I had to look back and I caught his eye, held it for 2 seconds and turned around like I didn't want him to see me looking.
So of course, we have no school tomorrow so I have no chances of seeing him until next week. But I'm really hoping I will. And now with a new one in my eye, that's even more of a reason for me to work on setting my game up. I gotta throw away the sweatshirts, stretch pants and head bands.
On dictionary.com, the defintion of a "maneater" is an animal that eats human flesh. A cannibal. On urbandictionary.com, the defintion is put most simply as a woman who uses men. She may use them for sexual, financial or psychological needs. Perhaphs for sexual favors, out of boredom, for the game or because of personal insecurities.
Upon hearing the song "Maneater" sung by Nelly Furtado this morning, I questioned myself and my motives for pursuing the opposite sex. (As corny as it may sound, this really happened).
I feel as though, whether we like to admit it or not, we're all trying to find our 'label'. Call it what you may, but everone is trying to find themselves and at the end of the day, they are all trying to put some sort of label on themselves. Even for those people who say "I don't want to be a label, I'm not just a label"...really, thats your label. The "unlabelable".
So maybe I don't want to be labeled as a Maneater. Or a Heartbreaker. Or a Tease. So what do I want to be labeled as? Would it be easier if we all came out with the words written across our foreheards so we knew what to do? Of course this would be easier but that's not reality. We all have to find our places in this world.
So where's mine? And who I am?
On some days, I feel as though I know exactly who I am. On others, I wonder "How the hell did I get here?". I know I'm not the only person out there who feels this way. I know everyone has questions and doubts...but when does it get easier? I thought it would with experience but alas, I feel just as lost as I did one year ago and trust me, I've had quite a few experiences since then.
So how am I going to find my way? And how am I going to know which way is right?
If I had the answer, I'd already be there.
Upon hearing the song "Maneater" sung by Nelly Furtado this morning, I questioned myself and my motives for pursuing the opposite sex. (As corny as it may sound, this really happened).
I feel as though, whether we like to admit it or not, we're all trying to find our 'label'. Call it what you may, but everone is trying to find themselves and at the end of the day, they are all trying to put some sort of label on themselves. Even for those people who say "I don't want to be a label, I'm not just a label"...really, thats your label. The "unlabelable".
So maybe I don't want to be labeled as a Maneater. Or a Heartbreaker. Or a Tease. So what do I want to be labeled as? Would it be easier if we all came out with the words written across our foreheards so we knew what to do? Of course this would be easier but that's not reality. We all have to find our places in this world.
So where's mine? And who I am?
On some days, I feel as though I know exactly who I am. On others, I wonder "How the hell did I get here?". I know I'm not the only person out there who feels this way. I know everyone has questions and doubts...but when does it get easier? I thought it would with experience but alas, I feel just as lost as I did one year ago and trust me, I've had quite a few experiences since then.
So how am I going to find my way? And how am I going to know which way is right?
If I had the answer, I'd already be there.
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