I just had an epiphany!
I've been struggling with the fact that, God isn't giving me direction, I'm not getting answers and I don't know the "right" thing to do. I have always wished that I was perfect and that life was perfect and that I knew my life plan. I imagine all of these turns of events that have such meaning in my life and I have to do the right thing or go the right way or my life will be doomed.
But what if there is no plan? What if God wants you to plan your own life and just be happy with the decisions you make? Live with no regrets, take risks and enjoy yourself.
What if?
I've been struggling with my next move in life, where to go to school. Then I came to the idea, maybe I don't want to be in school right now. And of course I think of the results of my actions thinking, I can't get a job if I don't have a full degree or a certificate or anything! I'm scared I will regret the decisions I make now that I cannot change. I have always lived my life on the safe side, I've never taken a risk. Now at the vunerable age of 19 I need to start making big decisions, decisions that could affect the rest of my life. Now I wonder, if instead thinking these decisions will affect my life negatively, why not say they will shape my life? I guess it's all about your view of life...
Monday, February 7, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
What everyone wants and what no one has
PERFECTION.
Everyone has a different definition of perfection. Some people can't put it into a definition. Some seek perfection in their appearances, some in their work, other's in their art or craft.
For me, I am looking for total perfection. When I'm getting ready for school, my poof needs to be perfectly symmetrical and my eyeliner exactly even. At work I staple, stamp and fold everything in the exact same place on every single paper. In the kitchen, I actually take measurements (I have my own way of measuring a 'pinch') and keep everything equal.
I have these ideas in my head of the perfect woman (who I want to be), the perfect man (who I'm looking for), the perfect relationship (the one I'm chasing after) and of course the fairy tail ending. And we all know life doesn't really work like that, does it?
But why? Why do we all stride for perfection. Don't they say that if we were all alike, life would be boring? In turn, if everyone was perfect the world would be so boring. We wouldn't have imperfections to laugh at and to love. And I don't want everyone else to be perfect. Not that I'm selfish and want to be the only one who is perfect. But because I love the imperfections in other people. Just not in myself.
So how do I be more perfect? Or maybe the right question is, how do I stop my desire for complete perfection and except all of my own imperfections?
note:
I've been wanting to write this blog to sort of find myself, to help guide myself through life and find answers to the questions I have. But how can I do that when all I do is think? I don't have any answers for myself and lately, the questions just seem to keep building up. I don't know how no one has written a book with all the answers yet....don't we have just about everything else?
Everyone has a different definition of perfection. Some people can't put it into a definition. Some seek perfection in their appearances, some in their work, other's in their art or craft.
For me, I am looking for total perfection. When I'm getting ready for school, my poof needs to be perfectly symmetrical and my eyeliner exactly even. At work I staple, stamp and fold everything in the exact same place on every single paper. In the kitchen, I actually take measurements (I have my own way of measuring a 'pinch') and keep everything equal.
I have these ideas in my head of the perfect woman (who I want to be), the perfect man (who I'm looking for), the perfect relationship (the one I'm chasing after) and of course the fairy tail ending. And we all know life doesn't really work like that, does it?
But why? Why do we all stride for perfection. Don't they say that if we were all alike, life would be boring? In turn, if everyone was perfect the world would be so boring. We wouldn't have imperfections to laugh at and to love. And I don't want everyone else to be perfect. Not that I'm selfish and want to be the only one who is perfect. But because I love the imperfections in other people. Just not in myself.
So how do I be more perfect? Or maybe the right question is, how do I stop my desire for complete perfection and except all of my own imperfections?
note:
I've been wanting to write this blog to sort of find myself, to help guide myself through life and find answers to the questions I have. But how can I do that when all I do is think? I don't have any answers for myself and lately, the questions just seem to keep building up. I don't know how no one has written a book with all the answers yet....don't we have just about everything else?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)